18 April 2014

I AM NOT A DESSERT PERSON - a true story.



I AM NOT A DESSERT PERSON srsly.

. I hate chocolate.
 I like it in wee tiny amounts, but anything more than that and ooh man is it a whole other story.

.I am still trying desperately to repress The Great Time Out Bar Incident of 05.    *
I hovered on deaths door till the early hours of dawn; deliriously trying to write out my will from the bathroom floor.
(I've no idea who Rodriguez The Bear is, but apparently he is entitled to everything I own in hopes that one day he will find himself.) What can I say, I'm just poetic like that.

. I hate cake. No cake is good cake. 
I mean give me all the delicious frosting and butter-cream but keep yo dry sponge to yo self Mary.
Oh and what crazy sombitch thought it would be good idea putting Jam in cake. NO STOP. 
You are hurting more people than you are helping.

.Why end your meal on such a sickly note?
So you've just devoured an amazing meal from Frankie & Benny's * (you went with the burger - good choice) 
Why would you go ruin it with a stuffy sickly bleh dessert which leaves you feeling all yucky. 
WHY. TELL ME WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO CAUSE SUCH ANARCHY. 

*It wasn't really in 05, it was last month but I needed to add it for dramatic effect or it will never be taken seriously for the screenplay. 
* Yes, I am a 8 year old girl.
* Please refer to the previous statement.

Grace approved desserts include:
Shortbread, Hot Chocolate and Milkshake. *
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6 comments

  1. I wish I wasn't a dessert person... my thunder thighs can not handle any more cake
    Megan x | MeganRoisinn

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  2. I love dessert. I wish I didn't though. It would make all my life decisions easier.
    Bright and Shiny

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  3. I'm choosing to look past this bizarrity (yes, I just made that word up but I deem it highly appropriate in describing your crazed sweet aversions...), because I think you and your blog are mighty fine. But I'll be keeping an eye on you mrs!

    Gem
    Faded Windmills

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  4. I know what you mean, I am not massively a dessert person, but sometimes I do cave and order one after dinner, especially if chocolate brownies are available! I love your blog, thanks so much for stopping by mine, I have followed you with Bloglovin and GFC :)

    Camille xo

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  5. This is cute! I definitely can see your logic but I can't help that I am already addicted to sugar ;) Oh and "you are hurting more people than you are helping"… too good!

    Jennifer Ashley
    www.prettylittledetails.ca

    ReplyDelete
  6. awww, I'm totally the opposite XD hahaha, I'm too addicted to these types of unhealthy stuff. I really need to control myself XD

    ReplyDelete

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