Friday, 18 April 2014

I AM NOT A DESSERT PERSON - a true story.



I AM NOT A DESSERT PERSON srsly.

. I hate chocolate.
 I like it in wee tiny amounts, but anything more than that and ooh man is it a whole other story.

.I am still trying desperately to repress The Great Time Out Bar Incident of 05.    *
I hovered on deaths door till the early hours of dawn; deliriously trying to write out my will from the bathroom floor.
(I've no idea who Rodriguez The Bear is, but apparently he is entitled to everything I own in hopes that one day he will find himself.) What can I say, I'm just poetic like that.

. I hate cake. No cake is good cake. 
I mean give me all the delicious frosting and butter-cream but keep yo dry sponge to yo self Mary.
Oh and what crazy sombitch thought it would be good idea putting Jam in cake. NO STOP. 
You are hurting more people than you are helping.

.Why end your meal on such a sickly note?
So you've just devoured an amazing meal from Frankie & Benny's * (you went with the burger - good choice) 
Why would you go ruin it with a stuffy sickly bleh dessert which leaves you feeling all yucky. 
WHY. TELL ME WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO CAUSE SUCH ANARCHY. 

*It wasn't really in 05, it was last month but I needed to add it for dramatic effect or it will never be taken seriously for the screenplay. 
* Yes, I am a 8 year old girl.
* Please refer to the previous statement.

Grace approved desserts include:
Shortbread, Hot Chocolate and Milkshake. *
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Sunday, 13 April 2014

Classy Girls don't kiss in bars, you fool.

Top - Mango
Shoes - Carvela
Beanie - New Look
I had one of those moments in Mango where you spot an item of clothing from across the room 
and everything around you starts moving in slow motion as you begin to run towards it dodging 
unsuspecting members of the public.
Consider the 5 D's: 
Dodge, Duck, Dip, Dive and Dodge.

Things Lately.
. I'm having a brief love affair with The Lumineers atm - this song.
. I'm going to Venice again in June - hideous reminder that I never posted pictures from last year.
. I might actually be getting back into the swing of blogging, seriously, I've got posts lined up.
. I think I may have invented the worlds greatest face mask.
. SQUATS.
. I seriously love Mango, they deserve more mclovin.

If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball.
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Thursday, 3 April 2014

Turn down these voices inside my head + HIMYM MELTDOWN

This is usually what my day-to-day look consists of just a tee, shorts and a pile of layers.

Things Lately.
.I went on an adventure to the southest of Yorkshire to go see JON RICHARDSON.
.Needless to say, it was absolutely hilarious. He is honestly the funniest little human ever.
.I've almost mastered the art of doing my hair and make-up on a train.
.Daylight savings happened too, which led to me spending my Sunday saying 'So what time is it REALLY?'
.Right now I am currently writing an assessment which has been on my to do list since new years. Oh goody.

.I also watched the HIMYM season finale...
i just have a lot of feelings on We Heart It.
The events following the finale led to me calling my friend displaying the distraught emotions seen above,
as well as a few of my own graceful remarks:

'WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE'
'NOTHING HAPPENS AFTER YOU TURN FOURTY'
'PRETTY SOON WE'LL BE DEAD'
'BEFORE WE KNOW IT, LIFE WILL BE OVER'
'THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS YOLO'
'WE'LL HAVE KIDS AND ONLY LIVE IN OUR STORIES'
'WHAT AM I DOING'

It is a fair judgement to say that I handled the situation in a calm and orderly fashion. 
And yes I will be seeking therapy as of next week.

Love from ya bruvva.
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Thursday, 27 March 2014

The past three months have been a tough few but there is finally a speck of light in the distance
So pack up a bag, grab your peanut butter cups and let's go for a walk.

I was born to be, be your dead sea.
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Sunday, 16 February 2014

BENEFIT THEY'RE REAL

Eyeliner- Collection. Eyeshadow - Bootycall/Naked2. Mascara - Benefit They're Real.
I like to think upon first receiving this mascara that I met it with an appropriate amount of gusto...
*internal celebratory fist pump*  Though I was yet to discover that this mascara was going to be the one mascara to rule them allpew, pew, take that other household names.

It was about three days into the mascara trial period when one of my closest friends complimented me on how long my eyelashes were and asked if she could take a look at what I've been using, this was of course before I plugged her in the eye socket and ran like hell whilst other Starbucks customers ducked for cover. 'SAVE YOURSELVES.'
Four ice-packs later, I've come to the conclusion that you would have to prise the thing out of my little Gollum-like hands if you wanted it.

On a somewhat serious note.
This mascara is pretty much perfect, I like using it because I can get a full fanned out voluminous look in no time which is ideal for everyday make-up and early mornings.
You can achieve a beautiful eye-opening natural look with this mascara, just add a lick of eyeliner and a sprinkle of eyeshadow. 
Application wise, I would recommend the classic wiggle and shimmy, works like a charm every time. 

If you've tried this product then let me know what you thought of it!
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Wednesday, 29 January 2014

Elf Madness.



1.) Cream Eyeliner.
SPECTACULAR. You need this.
My Tip - Apply it over liquid eyeliner to create a soft matte long-lasting finish.

2.) Corrective Colour Concealer.
COMES IN HANDY FOR BAD DAYS.
My Tip - learn how to use it and use it well.

3.) Lip Exfoliater.
I've never loved anything more than this - (Winter) ESSENTIAL 

4.) Contouring Blush & Bronzing Cream.
Seriously INCREDIBLE - ESSENTIAL
My Tip - Apply below cheek bone with ring finger in small dots, then join the dots up by gently dabbing the excess product from your cheek to create a smooth natural shadow.

5.) Complete Coverage Concealer. 
Great range of shades, amazing textures.
My Tip - use sparingly and blend with a buffing brush for an extra flawless look.

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